uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
