Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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