Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
