STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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