That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
