She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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