OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How does it feel to date your dad?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
