how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I pour the whiskey from now on
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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