oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
