Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
