I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Randomize
