you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
