brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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