she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
