If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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