Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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