Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
