Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
