fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
