On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
