Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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