and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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