i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
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