dude i'm inner monologue high
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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