Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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