About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
