You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
