I got chris browned last night
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
