I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
