she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
