so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
