Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
