no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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