Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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