just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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