just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
