Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I lost the right to judge tonight
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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