apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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