Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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