I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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