I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
