You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
sex in a hospital.. check
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
