If that was your dad, he is hot
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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