"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
