I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
