I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
