it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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