This is not my ceiling
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
