Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
