Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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