Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
