it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
