is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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