Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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