took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
